Countdown to heartbreak

So it would be exactly a week from today that the hubby will be flying in to Qatar from the Philippines. It would have been a happy and exciting thought if not for my two little angels who will be left back home with their nanny and a grandma they barely know.
No offense to our Tita Vi who we love and loves us back dearly, but them not knowing each other is just something that truly bothers me. Just thinking about it now makes me cry... Ok so things aren't really happening as planned and we're just trying to cope with the circumstances thrown our way and of course leaving our two girls in the Philippines is the last thing we wanted to do, but then, there's just no other way at the moment. The hubby needs to go back to work and I just don't have enough leave credits left to to be able to come home.

I look forward to the day when the Expat Mommy turns into a stay-at-home mom, but I guess it is just not gonna happen in the near future. For the days to come my thoughts will always be full of my two girls in the Philippines who are trying to survive without their Mei-mei... My girls who at 5 and 2 had to endure their parents' life-altering decisions of relocating them to the Philippines when their Dada decided to leave his work in Qatar. And then now endure 1 more year of double heartbreak when their Dada had to come back ahead of them. They say you should not have any regrets in life, but how can I not reget this phase??? How can I not regret being away from my girls? Yes we may be doing the right thing, but I truly feel this is not the best thing for my children. I just hope my girls will not take it against me that we had to do this to them. But how can they not when I myself can't?

9 months... 9 more months before they can come back to Qatar --- that would exactly be 3 years of our lives spent apart. This thought is my only driving force. If only I can stop the world from turning, but that would only stop the clock from ticking.... so let it turn let it tick until July 2011!


Haaayyyy.... such is the life of an expat mom! (Ooops! btw, I truly am a baby-toting expat mom, I have the third angel with me ---- life is not all drama, it comes with some action too! :) )